SNEAK PEEK AT MEMOIR OF IVANA!

Sometime in the future, Ivana officially publish first memoir book. Title of book is VICTIM OF SUCCESS and Ivana shared small excerpts of work here on blog site! Today your first taste of Ivana book comes from section on teen years of Ivana. Enjoy and thank you to all FAN!!!

CHAPTER 13: HIGH SCHOOL YEARS PRESENT MANY CHALLENGES TO IVANA

     Beginning high school was very difficult for Ivana. Every year from ages nine to thirteen, Ivana easily won first prize in the Angels of Egorova Youth Beauty and Sexy Pageant. However, now as having fourteen years, Ivana was too old to compete except in the division called “It’s Too Late for Gymnastics Career.” Incidentally, this pageant created many inspirations for future career of Eteri Tutberidze even though Eteri never competed in it due to feeling insecure about her natural look.

     Being forced to take a taxi to Moscow #1 Female Gymnasium was another hardship for Ivana. Waiting outside her family’s apartment for the taxi to arrive, Ivana was constantly being asked by complete strangers if she had successful modeling and acting careers. Women would ask Ivana for fashion and makeup tips. One oligarch often asked Ivana to accept 450,000 rubles if he could take a photo of her calves. She just wanted to be left alone.

  When classes started at her new school, Ivana was almost immediately given the nickname “Most Beautiful Girl in History of Moscow” by her teachers and classmates, who would even use this in Ivana’s presence. The president of the Lingerie Fashion Club volunteered to give up her position for Ivana. Teachers refused to give Ivana homework, and told her she could skip class on exam days in order to tan on the outdoor balcony reserved for cigarette smoking. 

  In addition to getting perfect grades without doing any work and being cursed with extreme beauty, Ivana was also hilarious. Even when she tried not to tell jokes, Ivana couldn’t help bringing humor and sunshine to everyday situations and frequently reduced people to tears with her puns, one-liners, and comedic anecdotes. Soon Ivana was being asked to headline local standup nights at the Hammer and Snicker Club, Moscow’s equivalent of the Laugh Factory.

  To make matters even worse, Ivana was surrounded by people who were jealous of her terrible life. Her brother, Kirill, would say to Ivana, “I must deny homosexual identity to avoid being ship to Siberia and do hard labor.”
     Ivana responded, “You want to experience real hard labor? Try being asked to seven parties, nineteen dates, and four premieres every night—and that is for weeknights! On ends of week, almost twice that amount.”

     The parents of Ivana, Lyudmilla and Anatoly, complained when they both suffered from rickets during the same long winter. Ivana reminded them that paying millions of rubles for treatment and missing weeks of work was nothing compared to every student in the school constantly reminding Ivana how smart, funny, and beautiful she was. Everyone wanted to be best friend of Ivana. But they did not understand that Ivana was actually nothing but an extreme victim!