Second Sneaky Peak at VICTIM OF SUCCESS

All of literary world is talking about upcoming release of first memoir by IVANA, 

"VICTIM OF SUCCESS"!!! Ivana have several international photo shoots with foto takers from Vogue of all nationals to see who can make best shot for back cover!!!! Today I share second peek into the memoir, telling about the first love from life of Ivana!!!! ENJOY and THANK YOU TO ALL FAN OF IVANA!!!!!!!

CHAPTER 7: FIRST TRUE LOVE OF IVANA

  When Ivana was eleven years of age, she was walking her miniature poodle “Grudshka” through Red Square when her eyes met the eyes of the most handsome, stylish, and sexual man she had ever seen in her life. His hair was as slick as the oil oligarchs like him made fortunes from. His fedora was at the same angle as that of Nikita Mikhalov’s in “Visiting Dmitry Gordon.” As he approached Ivana, she noticed a heavy musk she knew had to be from a cologne made from ingredients more rare, more treasured, than saffron or whale sperm.

Although Ivana could tell this was one of the richest and most powerful men in the nation, as he approached and saw how much more beautiful she was with every step, he began mumbling incoherently.

“What is wrong with you?” Ivana asked. “A real man would not be reduced to quivering jelly even by the most attractive young lady in the history of Moscow.”

Composing himself, the oligarch pulled out a business card and handed it to Ivana. On heavy, glossy black paper was simply written, NIKOLAI LISIN. MOSCOW.

“Nothing but that?” Ivana asked. “No address? No cellular number? I have the most expensive Blackberry currently available on the market.”

“A man of my stature cannot disclose such information,” he said, winking obscenely.

So now, Ivana thought, he wants to hit on me. Well, I will show him that I am not the kind of eleven-year-old who needs to be led by a wealthy adult male. “Meet me right here, tomorrow,” she said. “Bring two dozen white roses, Chanel perfume, and a Dior brooch. Then we will see if I am willing to ask you out.”

He nodded and strode away.

Several days later, Ivana was involved in her first serious love relationship with this man, whose name was Nikolai Lisin. However, to Ivana and Ivana only he was known as Nikolai Nikolai. This was a man with so much political and economic power that he could bankrupt Uzbekistan with a single gesture of his left hand and begin an entente with Azerbaijan with his right, yet Ivana reduced him to a powerless object to be toyed with and manipulated at will.

Years later, Ivana sees how people from the West assume that older women have control over their young girlfriends and brides. She reads critiques of Russian men who do not do anything bad and wait until legal age of consent birthday to hold wedding. Ivana knows the negativity is absurd; in every relationship, the woman should have all power, all control. If a woman does not, or if she let a man coerce her into things she doesn’t want to do, she is weak. She is at fault. If a woman says she has had a Me Too Moment, it means she is weak and let herself behave like a victim or couldn’t handle the expectations that women should and do face when they leave the house and go into public, where men will be attracted to them.

     In 2018, Ivana scheduled an event at University of St. Petersburg III to debate the Me Too movement with a horrible, manly feminist professor from USA. However, the students of Russia had already been brainwashed to believe the USA propaganda. Ivana was given many negative reactions by these Westernized bastard people, and she canceled the event and erased all footage proving it had ever happened. Ivana is still considering libel and slander lawsuit to file in International Criminal Court.

SNEAK PEEK AT MEMOIR OF IVANA!

Sometime in the future, Ivana officially publish first memoir book. Title of book is VICTIM OF SUCCESS and Ivana shared small excerpts of work here on blog site! Today your first taste of Ivana book comes from section on teen years of Ivana. Enjoy and thank you to all FAN!!!

CHAPTER 13: HIGH SCHOOL YEARS PRESENT MANY CHALLENGES TO IVANA

     Beginning high school was very difficult for Ivana. Every year from ages nine to thirteen, Ivana easily won first prize in the Angels of Egorova Youth Beauty and Sexy Pageant. However, now as having fourteen years, Ivana was too old to compete except in the division called “It’s Too Late for Gymnastics Career.” Incidentally, this pageant created many inspirations for future career of Eteri Tutberidze even though Eteri never competed in it due to feeling insecure about her natural look.

     Being forced to take a taxi to Moscow #1 Female Gymnasium was another hardship for Ivana. Waiting outside her family’s apartment for the taxi to arrive, Ivana was constantly being asked by complete strangers if she had successful modeling and acting careers. Women would ask Ivana for fashion and makeup tips. One oligarch often asked Ivana to accept 450,000 rubles if he could take a photo of her calves. She just wanted to be left alone.

  When classes started at her new school, Ivana was almost immediately given the nickname “Most Beautiful Girl in History of Moscow” by her teachers and classmates, who would even use this in Ivana’s presence. The president of the Lingerie Fashion Club volunteered to give up her position for Ivana. Teachers refused to give Ivana homework, and told her she could skip class on exam days in order to tan on the outdoor balcony reserved for cigarette smoking. 

  In addition to getting perfect grades without doing any work and being cursed with extreme beauty, Ivana was also hilarious. Even when she tried not to tell jokes, Ivana couldn’t help bringing humor and sunshine to everyday situations and frequently reduced people to tears with her puns, one-liners, and comedic anecdotes. Soon Ivana was being asked to headline local standup nights at the Hammer and Snicker Club, Moscow’s equivalent of the Laugh Factory.

  To make matters even worse, Ivana was surrounded by people who were jealous of her terrible life. Her brother, Kirill, would say to Ivana, “I must deny homosexual identity to avoid being ship to Siberia and do hard labor.”
     Ivana responded, “You want to experience real hard labor? Try being asked to seven parties, nineteen dates, and four premieres every night—and that is for weeknights! On ends of week, almost twice that amount.”

     The parents of Ivana, Lyudmilla and Anatoly, complained when they both suffered from rickets during the same long winter. Ivana reminded them that paying millions of rubles for treatment and missing weeks of work was nothing compared to every student in the school constantly reminding Ivana how smart, funny, and beautiful she was. Everyone wanted to be best friend of Ivana. But they did not understand that Ivana was actually nothing but an extreme victim!

Medvedeva: "If you need to wear something to show your support for me, a simple surgical mask will do."

Ivana Komova’s interview with Evgenia Medvedeva for mimefrenzy.ru:

IK: Congratulations on ending a challenging season on a high by winning bronze in Saitama. What does this medal mean to you?

EM: I like to think of the medal as a symbol of newly acquired agency. Young women in sports like skating have far too frequently been shielded from empowerment; ironically, this is often done by older women in positions of authority. I could have “chosen” to retire after the last Olympics and get married to an oligarch, become his trophy and pump out children for him to mold into future phallocrats. I could have been the meek, obedient teenage girl who serves others at the expense of her own self-actualization. Some people wanted that scenario. Some people were mistaken.

IK: And you were able to share the podium with two students of your former coach, Eteri Tutberidze.

EM: Of course. It’s hard for me not to wonder what she was thinking when she saw me there holding a large and elegant floral arrangement. I do believe her students will continue to enjoy success, if we define “success” in a very specific way with some particular caveats your readers don’t need me to regurgitate. And I use that word advisedly.

IK: You’ve been outspoken in addressing Russian fans who viewed your move to Canada as traitorous.

EM: One of Khlebnikov’s poems paraphrases an old Russian folk tale about an orphan who is forced into prostitution and winds up crippled with infections that eventually require her to amputate most of her left leg, which makes her, much to her own surprise, far more in demand. I considered myself lucky because that was unlikely to be similar to my own situation, so if I must be an orphan, then training in a beautiful country with Jason, Yuzuru, and many other great people was my version of orphanhood. Next, I believe I have sufficiently addressed any questions about whether I am truly Russian or not. I have publicly supported every one of their Eurovision entries since I was old enough to have a social media presence, and that includes Buranovskiye Babushki and Yulia Samoylova. 

IK: Even Samoylova? Wow, that is patriotism at its most audacious. As you mentioned, two of your most well-known training mates are Jason Brown and Yuzuru Hanyu. Are you competing for the spotlight?

EM: Not at all. You want to see competition that will make a herd of hungry wildebeests confronted with a single steak seem like nap time at a Scandinavian commune, you know where to look. And it’s not the Cricket Club. Jason is the sweetest, kindest soul. He never even once questioned his free program or costume last year, in fact! Yuzuru is a mystery to everyone. I remember when I first considered moving to Toronto, my grandmother asked me if I was going to try to popularize an icon for my fans to associate with me, like Yuzuru has with Pooh. Sailor Moon seemed like the obvious choice, but I decided I would rather not give adults a reason to be embarrassed to cheer for me and simultaneously not tempt young people to dress up in ridiculous costumes to watch live skating. If you need to wear something to show your support for me, a simple surgical mask will do.

IK: Last year, you wound up changing your short program halfway through the season. The original program seemed very typical of David Wilson, but you switched to something choreographed by your friend Misha Ge.

EM: First of all, let me highlight the lack of my Canadian-ness by admitting that I am not innately capable of channeling relaxed jazzy feelings. Finger snapping, V-neck sweater vests, and suspenders—these are new and strange to me. To be able to evoke this vibe without years of practice, you must be born either in Canada or Alaska. Averbukh did have a program concept for me that related to Alaska: he wanted me to evoke the narrative of the Trump presidential campaign with quotes from Palin’s famous speech. Has it been definitely proven that she suffered from a series of strokes while delivering that oration? And what are right winging bitter clinging people? Something may be lost in translation.

IK: Don’t ask me. Averbukh, however, did create programs for you that were polarizing. When you look back on, say, the World Trade Center program, are there any regrets?

EM: Like so many things in modern life, it’s important to think of a continuum in order to keep perspective. Domnina and Shabalin had a program with brown faces and leaves, Lambiel did something involving a feline that I have heard is scarring, and we all know some of Plushenko’s lapses in taste. If the skating community wants to blame me for opening my mouth wide to show emotion about a tragedy, they should also be reminded that Tanith Belbin’s mouth was open much wider when she was playing any sort of character or, indeed, no character at all. If my gestures are seen as histrionic or in questionable taste, let us all be reminded of when Elena Ilinykh pretended to shoot herself or when Adam Rippon included the American Sign Language for “Yes, I am a power bottom” during the step sequence of his “Let Me Think About It” program. If I regret anything, it’s that I was denied the opportunity to control my artistic path, but I didn’t know such a thing was possible for teenage girls until too late.

IK: Are you implying that the Russian system, or the Tutberidze system, is authoritarian or oppressive?

EM: I cannot speak for the totality of the Russian system. Eteri is a woman who, I believe, is firmly convinced her methodology is backed by all relevant scientific, athletic, artistic, and psychological meters. She has found a nutritionist from North Korea who swears under oath to Divine Leader that a diet of three seeds and one melted ice cube per day is healthy for a growing human being. Eteri has blackmailed Shoma Uno’s team to let him train with her this summer in exchange for them writing notarized statements to the ISU that there is no such thing as a prerotated quadruple jump. Sambo is connected to an Uzbek choreography studio famous for working with Ruztic Yokelz, a Rednex tribute band, and these choreographers will go to court to defend Gleichengauz choreography as creative and original.

IK: I believe these are libelous statements, but of course I am not responsible for them.

EM: Eteri was like a mother to me. You may ask, was it more like the mother from Cinderella or a different type of mother, Katerina Ivanovna Marmeladova from Crime and Punishment. And I’d say a bit of both but also not really either one. 

IK: If you could write a single tweet to her now, what would it say?

EM: #puberty

The Great Reporter of All Time Has New Home on the Line!!!

HELLO TO ALL FAN OF IVANA!!!

In past, I make wonder presence spread all over internet. But now I worry I become more openly spread than the legs of Jhonny Weir when he visit Western Hollywood, so time to set up one center location like we have Red Square in Moscow!!

This season I have many goals in both personal and professional realm! To mention important ones for you to get intrigue starting:

1. Write many posts criticize horror reporters, skaters (especially of USA and "China"), other skating web sites, and godlessness in general.

2. Continue interview new and wonder people of skating, make new knowledge and joy for all!!!

3. Grow in popular, amount of Chanel items in wardrobes, and wisdom but not in generousness or size of course!

4. Spa holidays as frequently as it can!!!!

Here you will find the words and the images that will create the fan fantasy Ivana has been known for all over the WORLD! You can ask questions, write comments I most likely will not read, and share the greatness any where! BUT DO NOT SHARE ON GODLESS WEB FORUMS GOLDEN SKAT OR FUS BECAUSE YOU CONTRIBUTE TO SIN AND HORROR!!!!!!!

Thank you have wonder day and stay tune for many date ups and surprises/suspenses!!!

XOXOXOXOXOX

IVANA KOMOVA